Nobody Wants To Hear You Sing About Tragedy
by YamiPaladinofChaos
Summary: Suzaku x Lelouch. "Okay... ignoring the insinuation that you masturbated to a fantasy about me and Lelouch... why do you care?" Birthday fic for Yinake. More lemon scented than Pledge. You've been warned.


Author's Notes: For the wonderful Yina, the Suzaku to my Lelouch, in honor of her birthday. Happy Birthday bb. I wish more than anything I could be there for it, but instead, here's some gay buttsex. :) (That should go as a warning for all of you young uns that this fic contains graphic sex between two consenting males)

"The two of you are either going to have to fuck or fight today"

There's a unique nature to a silence created by shock, a precious sort of fragility that awaits its breaking, like the anticipation of colorfully wrapped presents on Christmas morning, something beautiful that is only intended to be torn apart. It was as if the words spoken had literally shoved aside all other things of any sort of importance in the world, replacing them only with the echo of itself.

These were the sorts of things that Suzaku observed, in the wake of C.C.'s abrupt declaration upon walking into his room.

"I... what?" Suzaku blinked, shaking his head, chestnut curls briefly covering his eyes.

"I'm serious, this tension between you two is going to end now or I will kill you both myself, and in all my years there's only two good ways I've seen men relieve that sort of stress." C.C. shrugged, absently tucking an errant lock of her long hair behind her head as she did so, her other hand wrapped tight around her ridiculous plush mascot. "So pick one, and I'd suggest fucking, because at the least you might _not_ break Lelouch while you're fucking his brains out, but I know for sure you will if you punch his lights out."

Suzaku's mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. Then closed again.

He repeated this process probably half a dozen times before his brain's higher level processes had restarted, and even then, all that came out from his mouth was a dull, vacant, "Uh..."

"Oh come on, don't be coy, you two weren't exactly discreet a year ago," C.C. muttered, rolling her eyes. "Like rabbits. Only bigger... and louder. Like that one time you two went at it in that elevator in the Student Council building..."

Suzaku yelped. Heat blossomed on his cheeks and he ducked his head.

"You... you heard that?"

C.C. gave him a droll look. "Sweetie, please. I did appreciate the show though, gave me quite a bit of material for later..."

Even as his cheeks continued to burn as though aflame, Suzaku pieced together C.C.'s words and sputtered, "Wait... are you saying..."

"Oh come now, you two are quite pretty you know, and a girl has needs... nothing wrong with a little fantasy now and then," C.C. said slowly, shrugging nonchalantly, casually strolling over to his couch and sprawling herself out on it unceremoniously,

Feeling rather violated, Suzaku said shakily, "Okay... ignoring the insinuation that you masturbated to a fantasy about me and Lelouch... why do you care?"

C.C. said nothing for a moment, holding her plush toy above her head, staring blankly into its eyes, expression as blank as the inanimate object in her hands. Suzaku sighed, and began to turn away, wondering if he could find a way to forget the last three minutes when she finally spoke.

"He's distracted. By you." C.C.'s words were flat and devoid of the playful humor it had held but a moment before, like a sudden chill wind. "With whatever he's planning next, that's not something he can afford. But he won't come to you. There's too much pride in him for that. So you have to solve this."

And just as the humor had faded from C.C.'s voice like leaves dying in winter, so too did Suzaku's own mood soured like sweet summer fruit gone spoilt and rotten.

"Just like that?" Suzaku muttered, fists tensed as though gripping the butt of a gun, hands desperately, irrationally wishing for something to destroy, to break, to shatter. "You think... after everything that's happened... we can just... go back?"

C.C. scoffed openly, turning her gaze towards him, golden eyes fixing emerald orbs. Her nose wrinkled, her expression clearly disdainful. "Of course not. Young as you are, you know something now of the turnings of the world. Those days are over."

"Then what do you expect me to do?" Suzaku demanded, breathing now harsh, wild fury seeping into his voice, "He took my mind from me. He used the Japanese people- _my people_- as his pawns. He killed _Euphie_."

Every word was spat viciously, none more so than his princess's name, like a death curse, filling the air with bitter venom and savage anger, like hot blood from an open wound.

"And yet for all that, you two have been under one roof for two weeks and all you do is avert your gaze from each other and exchange nothing but angry silence," C.C. said pointedly, her words ringing like the clarion of a silver bell, true and clear. "If there was nothing there but hate between you, this would've been easier."

Suzaku stared back at her with a sullen, dull silence, clutching at he rusted blade of hate that he had held for so long. "I can't just... forgive him."

"Then don't. You can move on without forgiveness, contrary to what some people think." C.C. turned her head back towards the ceiling, clutching her toy now to her chest in an almost absent-minded embrace. "People find ways to cope with each other, in the end."

"So what... I can hate him for what he did in the past and still what... talk like what we used to? Still look him in the eyes without seeing all the things he's done? Trust him?" Suzaku asked, bitterness shot through every breath, a roiling coil of anger wrapped around his chest, tightening and choking everything, before it burst forth from his mouth as an angry, grating laugh. "Maybe its because I haven't had centuries of practice at it like you, but I don't think I'm capable of that."

"Aren't you?" C.C. said quietly, and casually threw the plush mascot in her hands upwards, catching it before continuing. "Are you so sure there's nothing between you two anymore? Love can be like a wildfire, burning out and leaving ashes, but even in those ashes, there remain embers."

As though her words were a sudden burst of wind, the heat of his anger withdrew from him as she spoke, leaving him tired and empty and cold.

"The human heart isn't some universal constant, you know." C.C. tossed her toy up into the air again, not even sparing him a glance as she caught Cheese-kun. "Some hearts are unchanging stone that can only be broken to be reshaped, and some are the ocean, deep and dark, rolling with an endless ebb and flow of emotion. Some people can love someone deeply and never let them go, and some people can love someone one moment and hate them in the next breath and then love them all over again."

Her words hung in the air, suspended and crystallized, like an old photograph of falling snow, wrapping themselves around the silence that followed and enveloping it with the ringing finality of truth.

Before he could manage anything, C.C. swung her legs abruptly off the couch and stood.

"Don't take this one as sentiment," C.C. murmured, shaking her head as she strolled on past him towards the door, still clutching the plush toy to her chest, expression carved of marble. "Just think of it as advice from someone who has nothing but time to those who don't even realize they have so little left."

* * *

><p>There's a strange sort of liberty, Lelouch was coming to realize, in planning the manner and timing of one's own death. Oh yes, there was still fear, that mortal tremor that lingered in his veins as he dared consider this plan, this requiem of his, but beneath that primal terror was a deeper understanding. Humanity was always plagued by the relentless shadow of the grave, that whisper that plagued every Roman emperor of old- <em>memento mori- <em>yet of all the possible nightmares that existed, the ability to choose how to meet death, to decide one's end... well, that was a true sort of freedom, wasn't it?

His gaze turned downwards to his hand where his fingers drumming an absent beat against the crown of the black king piece he was holding, drawn to the pale skin of his wrist. The pounding of the pulse beneath was deafening, like the relentless movement of the clock hand.

Inexplicably, he wondered at it- that tiny bit of soft skin and vulnerable tissue was all that kept the very essence of his being spilling out into the ether. Just a simple cut and a bit of pain, then what? Darkness? Hell? Something not even dreamed up in any philosophy?

How often had he spoken of becoming the Devil, yet never dwelled on exactly where his own soul would find its rest?

A cold shiver shook his hand as it moved to his suddenly tight chest, right over his heart, where he imagined the blade. His fingers clenched and his nails dragged painfully against his clothed flesh. The sharp and sudden feeling made him feel alive and awake and suddenly, horribly desperate for a way to keep feeling.

"What are you doing?"

The words and the voice were like a sudden caress of sunlight through the gloom. His blood quickened, that primal pulsing of his life roaring louder as his body remembered that voice in the dark, full of sweet gasps and groans, the taste of a pearl of sweat on skin.

"Suzaku?"

He raised an eyebrow, quickly schooling his features into that familiar mask he had worn long before Zero, banishing away the sudden arousal.

"Are you okay? You looked..." Suzaku trailed off, looking uncertain.

"I'm fine." His tone was brusque and controlled, utterly impersonal and polite as he reined himself in. "Was there something you needed?"

The quiet, angry sort of detente that had settled between them in the wake of their confrontation with his parents had last the last two weeks was a fragile sort of peace, unsure and treacherous as treading above the frozen surface of water. The slightest tremor, the merest shift in pressure, and an icy dark was all that awaited.

"We should talk," Suzaku said quietly, averting his gaze.

Lelouch had made a long, dedicated study of Suzaku's body language over the years, a study that had been rewarded with both great pleasure and endless frustration. His eyes easily saw the signs- the tight, white knuckled hands that gripped useless at empty air, the tense set of his shoulders, his teeth biting into his lip tightly, about to draw blood.

"So, let's talk," he said softly, inviting Suzaku to sit across the board from him. "I won't ask you to play, we both know that's hopeless."

Suzaku would have laughed at that once, weak and tired a joke as it was. He would have thrown his head back and exposed his slender neck, amused chortling sending sweet vibrations down his neck and filling the air with a lovely sound before he recovered, emerald eyes sparkling with life.

But that was when they had been closer than blood, friends and lovers who swore up and down they'd never be apart, that they'd always be there for one another, and now all that was left was the hollow, empty shell of that image, like the dried and discarded husk of a cicada, the lifeless afterimage of something alive and vital.

Now all he received in return was sullen, rusted silence and a stare from eyes like chipped green ice as Suzaku took his seat.

Their eyes met, amethyst and emerald, gems reflecting the empty silence that remained between them.

"So, what shall we talk about?" Lelouch questioned, a hum in his throat as he leaned back. "What is it that brings you to my door this evening?"

"... is this really how you're going to do this?" Suzaku said in reply, a faint heat in his voice. "Playing ignorant? I guess that's what you do though, isn't it? Lie?"

Lelouch shrugged, letting the irritated words fall on him like a light rain, easily ignored. "Don't claim to be innocent in this. I offered you a chance to stand with me, time and again. And instead you sold me to my father, bartered my life, my _identity,_ for your silly little ideals. And where did it get you, in the end?"

He fixed his gaze sharply, voice thick and dripping with disdain. "I'm no saint, but let's not pretend you're merely an innocent wronged."

"I sold you out?" Suzaku hissed, eyes narrowed and dangerous. "You killed Euphie, you fucking bastard!"

He faltered for a moment, hesitation in his eyes, before steeling himself. "I made a mistake. Her death was unpleasant, but it _was_ necessary."

Suzaku stood sharply. Reflexively, Lelouch stood as well, though he knew that if Suzaku wanted to hurt him he would be as helpless as a baby lamb before the butcher.

But Suzaku did nothing, only glaring fiercely at him. His eyes burned with raw anger, his fists white knuckled, jaw clenched tight, and suddenly Lelouch could see that beautiful, vital boy he had so instinctively been drawn to as a child, clear as day.

"Necessary?" Suzaku spat the word savagely. "That's how it always works with you, isn't it? It was necessary. I needed to do it. That's just you putting off the blame, justifying your actions because you know they're _wrong_."

Lelouch looked away, bitterness on his tongue.

"In the end, my methods get results. I would rather save by sinning then stand back and sit in a position of safe judgment as innocent blood is shed."

"And what about the innocents who die for your cause? You make them martyrs for a cause that isn't theirs, trampling their will, deciding their fates for them without once considering what they would want?" Suzaku snarled, drawing closer till Lelouch could feel his breath, hot and harsh, against his cheeks. "Just because you're smarter than everyone else, does not mean you can take people's right to choose away from them by lying!"

"People need to be directed, Suzaku. And sometimes..." Lelouch trailed off for a moment as the shadow of the Zero Requiem came to mind, "... Sometimes people need the lie."

They stood there face to face, gazes fixed, amethyst against emerald, the heat of their breath mingling. The silence between them had filled itself with the echo of angry words and bitter resentment. Lelouch could feel the blood rushing through his veins, quick and violent and alive.

And then, Suzaku spoke.

"Shut up. Just... shut up."

Suzaku's eyes, bright and brittle and beautiful, fixed on his own, and he forgot to breathe. He forgot everything, if only for that one single, perfect moment.

And before he could say a word, Suzaku's lips crashed against his, rough and chapped and bittersweet, and Lelouch was pushed back against the wall, his wrists pinned tightly on both sides, hands grasping useless at air, eyes wide with shock.

Suzaku's tongue pushed against his lips, demanding entry, and after a moment Lelouch's mouth gave way, tongue twining with Suzaku's own without thinking. The taste of him filled Lelouch's head, heady and sweet and familiar, like coming home.

But beneath that nostalgia and pleasure was the difference a year of time and a lifetime of losses had created. Suzaku had never been this demanding, this aggressive, even at their most heated. And there was something missing inside of him, something vital and warm, a faded flame, and only dark remained.

His tongue shoved Suzaku's back, and he aggressively began grinding against Suzaku's crotch, causing Suzaku to groan lightly as he threw his head back, exposing his neck and breaking the kiss. Lelouch,pressed his lips to Suzaku's throat, nipping at the tanned, rough skin, so much darker than his own, tasting the sweet sweat that lingered like morning dew.

Suzaku released his wrists then, hands moving lower, onto Lelouch's hips, powerful fingers digging tightly into the skin beneath the clothes as Suzaku grinded right back, causing Lelouch to break from his ministrations with a groan. His long fingered hands tangled themselves in Suzaku's chestnut curls, pulling him back in for another kiss.

Their tongues met again, twining and tasting, once more clouding his mind with that heady sensation before Suzaku broke away and suddenly Lelouch felt hands on his sides as he was spun around and pressed up against the wall again, this time face first. A flash of irritation ran through him in protest, but then Suzaku's mouth found his neck and his hands Lelouch's still clothed hardness, and the protest was forgotten. Suzaku nipped and bit and kissed, hungry mouth seeking to mark every bit of flesh, even as his hand reached inside Lelouch's pants and wrapped his cock in a warm, familiar grip, causing him to cry out.

It had been a long while, Lelouch thought deliriously, since he'd felt Suzaku's hands and mouth like this. It was a fierce sort of longing that filled him now, memories of sweat streaked summer nights coming to mind as Lelouch felt his climax coming on rapidly as Suzaku's hand continued to stroke his cock.

"I... I'm..." His words were cut off as a low, primal groan broke from his throat as his muscles contracted, belly tightening as he came against Suzaku's hand, white hot pleasure blinding him for a moment as he instinctively thrust into Suzaku's warm grip, even as the other boy bit down hard on his neck.

There was nothing in his mind for a moment as he came, an empty, rapturous sort of blankness devoid of anything except bliss. Nunnally's death, the Black Knights, the Requiem, all of it forgotten.

Slowly, as he began to come down from his high, cock already beginning to soften in Suzaku's grip, he began to collect himself, blinking.

Suzaku's cock was insistently pressing against his ass now, even as his mouth left Lelouch's neck. Before Lelouch could say a word, Suzaku spoke first.

"Bed," he growled gutturally, the first words he'd spoken since they began, as his cock pressed insistently against Lelouch. "Bed now."

Lelouch's pride flared instinctively at the aggressive, commanding tone, but before he could protest Suzaku had maneuvered them closer to the bed and pushed him roughly down onto the mattress wordlessly, trailing kisses down his neck, hands tugging at his clothes. In moments, Lelouch was naked, Suzaku kissing and sucking his bare chest.

"S-Suzaku," Lelouch said shakily. His head was thick and clouded, the words hard to form. Slowly, he managed, "What about you?"

Suzaku stopped then, lips still pressed against Lelouch's nipple. For a moment, his expression was open and vulnerable and beautiful.

Then it faded as Suzaku quickly shimmied out of his pants and boxers, tugging his shirt over his head almost as an afterthought. The sight of his cock sent a thrill through Lelouch's veins. After a moment, his gaze lifted to meet Suzaku's own, which held a wordless question.

"Drawer," Lelouch said breathily, eyes flicking to the nightstand next to the bed.

Suzaku nodded in silent understanding, moving away for a few moments as he fetched the lubricant, leaving Lelouch suddenly feeling vulnerable and contemplative. They'd done this before, dozens of times, but never like this, and not after everything had gone to hell between them.

Suzaku returned before his thoughts could continue, his cock glistening with a mixture of precum and the lubricant, hands already reached for Lelouch's legs, spreading them as he drew closer. Their eyes met just as he neared penetration, gazes fixed.

Something wordless passed between them as their eyes locked, the same light shining in both amethyst and emerald, an understanding of sorts. They weren't the carefree lovers they had been, but neither were they the other's hated nemesis again. Things between them were changed, but perhaps there was still something there, a lingering spark, a dying ember waiting to be kindled again.

Lelouch nodded, and Suzaku, after a moment, inclined his head as well as he pushed himself inside.

As always, there was a tight sort of pain as he felt Suzaku enter him, hot and unyielding and pulsing with life, but there was also the pleasure, that heady feeling from before but a thousand times more potent, and Lelouch felt a throaty moan escape his lips as Suzaku pushed his full length inside.

"W-wait," Lelouch said slowly, panting, "I need a moment."

Suzaku stared at him for a moment, eyes glazed with pleasure but still coherent as he spoke.

"No."

And without another word he began to stroke, causing Lelouch to cry out wordlessly, head falling back against the bed, dark hair splayed out against white sheets, sweating fingers clutching desperately against the fabric. Through the ever churning mix of pain and pleasure running through his veins he could only barely see Suzaku's hands planting themselves on either side of his head, his face inches from Lelouch's own.

As in all things, Suzaku was a master of the physical, his strokes hard and timed, animalistic grunts escaping his lips with every thrust, causing Lelouch to groan and moan and writhe beneath him.

After an eternity, Lelouch, barely conscious of his own actions, raised his hands from the sheets to run themselves through Suzaku's soft chestnut locks, pulling him closer for a kiss, even as Suzaku's pace quickened.

They kissed for a moment, tongues darting daringly, before Suzaku broke the kiss again, expression almost pained, filled with desperate need. Once again, no words were spoken, as none were needed.

Suzaku's pace began to lose its consistency, his thrusts more and more eager and sloppy, and Lelouch could feel his own climax soon as heat and tightness pooled in his belly-

And then Suzaku broke with a wild thrust, sinking deep as he let out a long, low moan and Lelouch felt a scorchingly hot spray within him as Suzaku shuddered against him and he himself was lost, his own cum spraying out onto both his and Suzaku's bellies, a warm and sticky rain.

After a long while lost in the white fog of bliss once more, Lelouch felt himself return as he felt Suzaku's now softening member withdraw, leaving him feeling oddly empty. Heedless of the cum and sweat that covered them both, Suzaku laid himself down next to Lelouch and kissed him, softly this time.

They said nothing about their argument before. There was no need, for once.

The past was past.

Instead, quietly, Lelouch began, "Suzaku... I need to tell you something. It's about what I plan to do next. It's called the Zero Requiem, and I need your help..."

* * *

><p>And from the hallway outside the room, a pair of golden eyes rolled incredulously.<p>

"Really, he goes from sex to immediately discussing his suicide plan?" C.C. rolled her eyes. "Well, it was fun while it lasted."

She glanced at her compatriot, whose expression, for once, actually showed some emotion, her cheeks flushed a deep red and her breathing rather quick.

"You recorded all that, right?" C.C. questioned.

Anya, still wide eyed and faintly blushing, nodding hurriedly. "Affirmative," she said quietly, her camera phone clicking one more time at the two naked, sweat soaked boys intertwined on the bed.

"Excellent," C.C. said, wrapping an arm around Anya's shoulders and steering her away from the door. "Now we'd best leave, girl, otherwise Lelouch will throw a hissy fit that I am too damn horny to deal with right now."


End file.
